Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
