my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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