even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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