brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Everyone says I win the strip club
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
