She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize
