Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
