I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
