Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize