what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize