my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
