Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize
