Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
