Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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