No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
