you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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