Pregnant stripper...not hot.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
nutella sex= disaster
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
