I am puke
He kissed a someone with a penis
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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