Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
