i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
whose parrot is this?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
