He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
