she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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