My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
