Walk of Shame. In a state park.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Too much gin, very little bucket
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
