I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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