thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Your penis caused this!
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