i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
