I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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