I think I won the penis lottery.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He better not be in your backpack
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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