i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
