dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
