why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
