I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Randomize