Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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