..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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