What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
