My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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