Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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