He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize