The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
