She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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