The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
