another moral hangover. fuck.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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