Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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