You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
