She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
