Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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