Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
