Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
