I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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