I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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