Christians are straight up FREAKS
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
