I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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