New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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