Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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