wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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