I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
