Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
