I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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