She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize