wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
