"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
it's like iHOP with fire
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
