Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
