so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
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