Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Holy shit dude........stairs
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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