was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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