OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
