Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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