His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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