i think i recognize dicks better than faces
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
